Your Therapist in Sugar Land teaches How to identify and manage the dynamics of a dysfunctional family
There is no such thing as a perfect family. All households have challenges and issues that arise in different ways. But how problems are handled, addressed, or even dealt with can determine how they impact family members for the rest of their lives.
It’s easy for families to fall into destructive patterns that can have damaging lifelong consequences. Today we want to help identify patterns of a dysfunctional family and provide ways you can manage the dynamics and heal from past experiences within one…
Your therapist in Sugar Land talks about what makes a dysfunctional family
In a dysfunctional family, there is usually a lot of animosities, turmoil, tension, lots of rules, and very little unconditional love. It’s usually an unhealthy environment that discourages asking questions, feeling your feelings, or challenging the norm.
Three common patterns of behavior include triangulation, gaslighting, and stonewalling.
Triangulation: This is where two family members team up against one another. An example could be a father not communicating directly with a child and using the mother to relay messages to him/her. It could also be where a child and their parent team up against another parent.
Gaslighting: This happens when one member manipulates another by questioning their sanity or understanding of reality. They try to convince the person that the way they believe or remember events occurring is inaccurate. The person gaslighting will usually question facts and deny valid emotions of other family members.
Stonewalling: This is the cold shoulder. When a family member gets offended and refuses to engage with someone until they apologize. They refuse to communicate or cooperate and detach themselves emotionally.
In dysfunctional families, common roles emerge including people being labeled the mascot, golden child, black sheep or enabler. The mascot is usually the youngest child who helps distract and add humor to tense situations to help diffuse them. Then you have the golden child, who oftentimes is the oldest. They are nearly perfect in school, sports and extracurricular activities and are accepted and treated differently than their siblings, often getting preferential treatment.
The black sheep feel like they don’t belong and are singled out or left out of activities, which can have a devastating effect on self-esteem. And lastly, the enabler feels the weight of the family’s problems and often supports dysfunctional behavior and enables negative behavior.
Your therapist in Sugar Land explains what causes a dysfunctional family
Dysfunctional family behavior can be caused or stem from other root issues including:
Parent(s) who were raised by an abusive parent
A strict controlling or authoritarian parent
A soft parent
An absent parent
A substance-abusing or addicted parent
A large family
Personality disorders
A disabled or chronically ill family member
An unfortunate life event such as divorce, unemployment, death, or financial struggles
Differences in family values, cultures, and ethnicity
Insecure family relationships
Your therapist in Sugar Land discusses how dysfunctional families are linked to mental health
Attachment issues are some of the biggest problems that can result from dysfunctional families. These lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and bipolar which can come from childhood issues.
When a child is unable to rely on a caregiver to help them understand their emotions, the part of their brain that helps them make sense of their feelings doesn’t develop correctly. This can result in mental illnesses emerging in adolescence or early adulthood. The earlier an individual receives therapy, the better chance they have of reversing that brain chemistry.
Your therapist in Sugar Land helps you know how to manage, fix and heal from being in a dysfunctional family
Your family will be in your life forever and just because it was or is dysfunctional, doesn’t mean you cannot heal and manage relationships in a more healthy way. There are a few steps you can take to heal from the emotional effects including going to therapy.
Therapy can help you work on yourself and identify unhealthy patterns from your family of origin and how they show up in your current life. Understanding these patterns is essential to addressing how they impact the rest of your life.
If you hope to heal from your family, first focus on yourself. Feel your feelings fully and recognize your role–take responsibility for your life and feelings and let your other family members take responsibility for their lives. Avoid blaming, scapegoating, rescuing, and being the target of someone else’s blame. Set boundaries and respect others.
Build and establish a support system around you while you work through your feelings and/or trauma. Choose friends or family members who are positive and uplifting.
Healing from a dysfunctional family will take time and patience, however, you can regain a healthy sense of positivity, love, self-esteem, and a way of functioning in the world and within your own personal family.
If you would like more information about healing and overcoming childhood trauma, or how to set boundaries within your dysfunctional families, give me a call today.
