When you come to me for infidelity trauma counseling, I use a combination of different therapy modalities to help you in your recovery. I believe that when you have experienced infidelity trauma, Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) are critical in helping you recover. EFT helps validate and soothe your stress. EFT also helps you understand how this deep hurt connects to your attachment style and how it impacts your anger, sadness, and fear, so you are not avoiding the things that are driving your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You learn to identify where you are hurting so you can work to heal those things. CBT helps in your recovery from infidelity trauma by allowing you to identify your self-destructive thoughts, which is important because this is how you begin to rebuild self-esteem and stop yourself from ruminating on hurtful thoughts. I also like to incorporate Somatic Therapy and DBT therapy because these are helpful in teaching you to regulate intense emotions like anger or shame and establish healthy coping mechanisms. EMDR helps with the traumatic memories and allows you to target deep fears and insecurities that are brought about by infidelity trauma.

While knowing your therapist knows the treatment models that are important when you are looking for infidelity trauma counseling, I understand that you may still have reservations. It is scary to go to a stranger and have to talk about the most precious thing to you, and how it has been completely changed or lost, especially as a woman, when we are so programmed to take on blame and handle things on our own. I want my clients to know that I care about them, their experience, and their feelings. When you have your initial phone call with me, I want to get to know you and hear what you are struggling with so I can see how I can help. If I am not fully equipped to help you, I keep a referral list of strong therapists with their specialities I can refer you to. If we are a good fit, we set up an initial appointment. During this appointment, I hear your history. I want to know about your life, from the start to the present. While this may not seem necessary, and it can be frustrating that we are not jumping into the infidelity weeds during this first appointment, I have a reason for this. I need to know you, who you were, what makes you tick, what your strengths are, what challenges you have faced, and how you have overcome those. All of this helps me in creating a tailor-made plan for you and your infidelity trauma recovery. We are all individuals; we have different life experiences, and our healing journey must acknowledge our past to fully heal in the present, in the most successful way possible. I am a therapist with over 10 years of experience helping women overcome trauma. I have specialized training from John and Julia Gottman about treating the trauma caused by infidelity and affairs. I know that through my infidelity trauma counseling, I can help you find peace again.

Concerns

Shame and Fear: When I visit women after an affair, many of them talk about how they wish they had come in for help sooner. They often talk about what happened. This caused them to have a fear of being judged by people if their affair was brought to light. So this leads them to keep the affair to themselves because if they talked about it, they believed it would look bad. The benefit of talking to me, an infidelity trauma therapist, is that I am bound by HIPAA, and I am not going to mention your struggle to one of your other friends or family members, as can happen with other relationships. I am not judging you or pressuring you to make a decision.  You do not have to edit yourself or your experience to protect yourself or your significant other.

Protection of the Relationship/Family: As mentioned above, discussing the relationship with your friends or family can lead to judgment or feelings of being judged. It leads you to listen to opinions about what you should do and how you should act, and to be open to accusations about what you were not doing. Talking to an infidelity trauma therapist, you eliminate all of those things. You get to talk about your darkest fears without leaving your relationship open to others' discussion and judgment.  

Fear of Loss and Financial Instability: You may have fears about the potential loss of your spouse, your home, or your financial security if you admit to the affair and what that means to you.  It may cause you to try to keep your emotions in and try to handle the situation internally to avoid drastic changes to your life. The thing about this is that it doesn't allow you to really acknowledge your feelings, live authentically, or heal; it keeps you stuck in the hurt and heartache. Speaking with me, a licensed therapist who is trained to help people as they process their partner's infidelity, regardless of whether you stay in the relationship or leave it, allows you to feel confident in your decision and resolve the complex emotions that come along with infidelity trauma.

Get Help Today

I know you are dealing with the deepest hurt you have ever felt in your life. I understand the shame, the anxiety, the stress, and the betrayal that you are going through. When you talk with me you can rest assured that you will feel comfortable, like you are talking with an old friend, the difference, is that this friend you are seeing knows exactly how to help you, will not judge you and will help you sort through your emotions, address your feelings and guid you on how to rebuild your life in a way that feels comfortable and right for you. You did not deserve to experience what you are experiencing. You are spiraling and need an infidelity expert to help you navigate through this terribly dark situation. Let me be that person. Reach out to me today and let me help you navigate one of the hardest moments of your life, because nobody should have to go through this alone. I want to be by your side every step of the way.