How infidelity alters the betrayed person's identity by your therapist in Sugar Land, TX
Infidelity changes your brain and how you process life. One minute, you find yourself thinking about all the good times you had, and the next minute, you're falling into anxiety, wondering if those good times were even genuinely good times. It’s confusing. Part of you remembers being happy, but then you think about the infidelity, and you start doubting that you were really happy; you feel tricked and bamboozled. You do not know whether it feels real now, or whether you can trust the future. You just feel completely lost, like nothing makes sense anymore.
When you go through infidelity trauma or betrayal trauma, it’s hard to explain just how much it hurts. It makes you feel like you can’t trust yourself or anyone else. You feel scared and unsure about what’s real or safe. You start to worry a lot and doubt yourself, asking if it was your fault or why you didn’t see it coming. These doubts can make you feel like you don’t understand people. Because of that, you might notice yourself changing. You don’t trust as easily, so you’ve stopped sharing your feelings. Even simple things, like going out or meeting new people, feel much harder now. All these changes can make your life feel strange and difficult. When you look in the mirror, see someone completely different. You feel out of control, and it’s scary.
You rightfully feel confused about why you did not notice the signs that something was wrong in the relationship what little things your mind skipped over. You feel stupid because, looking back, you truly had no idea why you didn't notice infidelity was happening. This furthers your self-doubt and feeds the inner critic that says that something is wrong with you, slowly chipping away at your self-esteem.
Even though you are the one who got hurt, you still catch yourself wondering if the infidelity was your fault. It honestly messes with your confidence, and you start seeing yourself in a way that isn’t fair. Sometimes you get angrier, or just feel really bitter and super insecure, like, “I’m not good enough.” As an expert infidelity trauma therapist in Sugar Land, TX, I want you to know that I have watched people go through this, and as they work hard to build better boundaries and learn to be kinder to themselves, their lives become joyful and peaceful again. So, even though it sucks right now, there is hope; people can come out of it with strengths and the ability to be openly loving again.
You feel stupid when you feel panicked because your partner is on the phone or talking to someone you know or from work. You have become a paranoid detective, furiously checking messages and constantly worrying about being lied to. You create an FBI-style investigation over your partner's actions, phone calls, or schedule, in hopes of assuaging your fear and allowing you to feel safe again. It is exhausting and takes up so much of your time and energy. You do not like this detective version of yourself, but it feels as if it is the only way to satisfy your anxiety that something is going wrong. You are worn out. You have gone on “Readit” and seen others feeling the same way. You know you're not alone, but it still feels so overwhelming.
You stop hanging out with friends as much because you don't feel like yourself. If you leave your partner alone, who knows what trouble they will find themselves in, and you cannot risk any more pain because you missed something or were not there to stop it from happening again. These feelings can be very confusing and make daily life harder. It does not have to be this way. There is help for infidelity trauma.
Infidelity trauma/ betrayal trauma doesn’t just mess with your mind. Your body feels the infidelity trauma just as much. If you are getting panic attacks, cannot sleep, and are always tired, you should contact me, Alyssia, at Southern Pine Counseling. I get it, and I can help you build your self-esteem, use EMDR therapy to work through those awful memories, and teach you how to finally start moving forward with your life. You don’t have to stay stuck; schedule your free consult today.
