Over-functioning at Work: How to Break the Sunday Scaries Cycle by Alyssia Anderson

Are you reading this late Sunday night on your couch…you intended to be sunk in deep fully immersed in your favorite show, but instead you're trying to understand that troubling feeling in your stomach and your tense body? What does this mean, and why do you feel this every Sunday? My friend, what you have is what we the professionals call a case of the “Sunday Scaries,” and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably already consciously color-coding your entire week, prepping for a job you haven’t even clocked into yet.

As a therapist, something that I want you to understand is that Sunday work week anxiety and workplace over-functioning operate as best friends and feed off of one another as they wreak havoc, tag-teaming your nervous system. For many of the women I help, the habit of over-functioning (you know, taking on the lion’s share of responsibility, organizing, fixing, controlling) isn’t just about being a “high achiever.” It’s actually a sneaky, unconscious trick your brain uses to manage high-functioning anxiety.

Sunday removes all the distractions work gives you. With the office quiet and your calendar momentarily blank, all that underlying anxiety you’ve been outrunning surfaces suddenly because you have learned that tasks are something you can use to numb out, but when the tasks are gone, your brain begins to wonder what is next, and there is nothing there to distract you like there is during the work week. And because you’ve become used to carrying everyone and everything on your back, always saying yes to the extra and going the extra mile, the prospect of returning to the grind feels especially heavy as the weekend winds down. You are carrying more than your fair share, and you maybe feeling a little overwhelmed and burnt out, but as the woman who does it all, how can you change? This is all you have ever known.

So what do you do ? You prep like nobody’s business. You plunge into your color-coded planner, start putting pen to paper to ensure you remember everything on your mental checklist in a desperate attempt to keep things under control. It’s not just a quirk; it’s a survival skill. Many women measure their value by their work performance; your body has learned that relaxing is unproductive, and when you're unproductive, you lose your value. Tasks provide a definite recognition of being productive and valuable; therefore, staying in overdrive becomes your emotional security blanket. For high-achieving women, being constantly capable and busy is how you regulate your stress, how you feel safe in the world. But when Saturday and Sunday force you to slow down, your body loses its favorite coping tool, and the anxiety comes flooding in.

I want you to know that you can actually rid yourself of your Sunday anxiety, and it doesn’t have to involve changing your name and moving to Florida, or maybe a less drastic example: downing pints of Ben and Jerry’s, or buying a dog just to avoid your feelings. It starts by shifting your mindset and setting hard boundaries. A simple place to begin is (and I need you to take this seriously) no more sneaky work emails on weekends. Protect your recovery time by turning off those Slack, Teams, and email notifications; your inbox will survive without you for a few hours, promise. Give yourself 15 minutes to sketch out a simple, clear plan of what you need to do to unplug and still feel prepared for Monday; this is two to three items MAX. It is NOT a full 20-item to-do list. When the anxiety hits, set a 5-minute timer and write down every concern that pops into your head. When the timer goes off, shut the notebook and find a positive distraction to occupy your mind.

Then, on Sunday afternoon, do some aerobic exercise (and I mean if you have the physical capacity, SWEAT IT OUT, GIRL, for at least 20 MINUTES)dance around your living room, text your friend/neighbor, and go for a power walk- whatever gets your heart pumping) to physically shake off that built-up stress. After your sweat sesh, create your wind-down time: have an icy cold sparkling water, a warm bath, some gentle stretching, or Google a five-minute guided meditation. These things signal your nervous system that, actually, you are safe to relax.

If Sunday anxiety has you tossing and turning week after week, or if you notice it’s taking a real toll on your well-being, it might be time to get extra support. I can help you examine the roots of your anxiety and build better coping strategies through EMDR, CBT, and DBT strategies. You can schedule a free 15-minute consult by clicking here if you’re ready to start feeling better about your Sundays.