Healing Infidelity: Finding Support Through Individual Therapy. When Couples Therapy Is Not An Option.
Welp, it happened. You picked up your husbands to order pizza for the kids before you headed out on a date, ironically enough. As you were logging into Dominos, a text pops up that catches your eye. The number was not labeled “missing you, baby.” You assume it was a wrong number; it isn't labeled, so you click it, and once you do, there's no going back. As you scroll back, you feel the air vanish from your lungs, and the room feels like it has gone black around you. You are shaking, wondering how this could have happened. You have just popped the lid off an affair and are spinning out. You go to your husband and tell him your discovery, but he does not want to go to couples therapy; he believes you can heal on your own, he has never been the guy who has spoken about his feelings, and he does not want to feel ganged up on because he says he feels guilty enough as it is. So what do you do? You know that you need help to heal, but without him agreeing, you're worried about your ability to move forward.
Healing from an affair is tough. And while couples therapy is helpful, one of the most important things you can do for yourself after experiencing infidelity trauma is to seek help through individual counseling for yourself. When you experience infidelity, you need a place where you can safely express your emotions, where you can explore your feelings, and make meaning of what you are experiencing. At Southern Pine Counseling, Alyssia understands this. She works with infidelity trauma and has extensive training on how infidelity trauma impacts your life, physically, emotionally, and within your relationships. Alyssia can help you process your feelings about what to do next. She can help you sort out whether or not you work to salvage the relationship after infidelity trauma or if your heart is set on moving on from the relationship, and what this means for you.
It is important to note that your significant other may just need time. Maybe they are not yet willing to seek couples counseling with you, but they would be willing to read a book together or attend a weekend workshop led by a couples counselor. Sometimes we want to do everything we can to fix the situation as quickly as possible, but we need to let things breathe for a minute and then revisit the idea of couples counseling when things are not so raw.
I know you are hurting, and having the commitment to couples counseling would provide a significant level of stress relief, as it renews hope for you and confirms the commitment to the relationship. An initial “no” does not mean “no” forever. Please, in the meantime, focus on healing yourself in individual therapy to get clarity on your wants, needs, and desires, and to rebuild your confidence. Individual therapy can help you avoid falling into self-pity because of the infidelity trauma. When you attend individual therapy for infidelity trauma, you have support in assessing for remorse. Your therapist in Sugar Land, Texas, can help you identify if your partner is signaling that they will take genuine accountability, are remorseful for their actions, and are willing to work on the marriage. In heated moments, take a break, please, to not threaten to expose the infidelity or use the kids as pawns to help bring one another together.
If you have experienced infidelity trauma, I do not want you to have to manage this pain alone. By contacting Alyssia, your therapist in Sugar Land, TX, you are taking the first step toward getting better. Click here to schedule a free consultation with Alyssia at Southern Pine Counseling. I am ready to support you with compassion, experienced guidance, and a safe space for your voice to be heard. Start your journey to healing from infidelity trauma today, then take back your feeling of calm and hope.
