Why does infidelity make trust feel physically impossible? By Your Therapist in Sugar Land, TX
You found out that there has been infidelity, and it has been traumatizing. It has been a few months, and you still feel like you cannot decide what you want, what you need, or how to even move forward. This broken trust, because of the infidelity trauma, makes trust feel physically impossible. You can physically feel your hurt, your betrayal, your anger pulsing through your veins.
After a betrayal trauma, mentally, everything changes. Your mind keeps you in a constant state of high alert, scanning for threats from your significant other, making it impossible to feel safe or calm. You have become constantly uncomfortable with your hypervigilance, but you cannot help it. Your thoughts feel out of control, and out of nowhere, your brain will replay the betrayal. This creates a pattern of pain that prevents you from making new positive memories. In your mind, your brain is struggling to connect with the loving partner you used to know to the person who has betrayed you. This causes distress and confusion and leads to feeling emotionally drained and constantly tired.
Intimacy trauma changes your hormones, which impact how you feel physically in your body. When the brain detects any tiny shred of possible danger, it triggers the release of adrenaline into your bloodstream, that anxious energy coursing through your veins. It is meant to protect you, allowing you to react more quickly to potential danger; however, when there is no danger, it just prevents relaxation, emotional vulnerability, and physical exhaustion. Some people have described how, after their discovery of an infidelity, their infidelity trauma starts to trigger a physical reaction of rejection to the person who betrayed them. This has been described by some as feeling nauseated, by others as their skin crawling, or as pain. Emotional pain often comes up as heartache, exhaustion, and insomnia. You may have noticed that things you used to love about your partner, such as how they smell, what their voice sounds like, or how they touch you, now feel uncomfortable. This is common and expected after a betrayal trauma because you have lost the foundation of your relationship, which is safety and security. It is no way to live. You do not want to stay in this body, but you do not know how to get out of it. You feel overwhelmed, you're tired, and you just want a plan on how things can get better.
Twenty percent of couples experience infidelity in their relationships. That is basically one in four people. You are not alone in this. At Southern Pine Counseling, I help people like you every day pick up the pieces of their broken hearts and put them back together so they can move forward with their lives in the way that is best for them. We learn to rebuild trust in yourself, and we utilize EMDR therapy so you can work through your pain and find a way forward in a way that works for you. Recovering from infidelity trauma takes time, and it is not a linear road. It is a road that twists and turns as you go. Infidelity trauma counseling provides a structured, neutral space to process intense emotions, break unhealthy patterns, manage rumination, and establish essential boundaries for recovery. After betrayal trauma, you find yourself bouncing between rage, sadness, and confusion. Therapy at Southern Pine Counseling in Sugar Land, TX, helps you gain the tools to process these emotions rather than just suppressing or acting on them. I can help you establish concrete, actionable goals to create transparency and help you rebuild trust in your relationship. Coming to individual counseling for infidelity trauma helps you, the person who has been betrayed, move beyond the trauma, so that you can regain a sense of self and determine the next steps for your life, whether that is healing the relationship or moving on. Please, do not put this off any longer. Contact us today to begin healing and feel better in your body.
